At the core of rudeness, Westacott argues, is the violation of social convention, which leads to a crucial distinction – between violating (out of selfishness) a convention to which one otherwise subscribes, versus simply not subscribing to it. We tend to assume most rudeness belongs to the former category. But conventions change, and “rudeness” may often just be the label we give to the friction between two people following different rules. When sons started abandoning the convention of calling their fathers “Sir”, it was presumably perceived as rude. It’s disconcerting to realise that “music in train carriages ought not to be audible to others” might prove just as historically contingent.
This column will change your life: rudeness | Life and style | The Guardian
